This was originally posted on blogger.

The last time I was on a plane was in March. Back then the world is in chaos, and now it still is. The Coronavirus was looming. My university had just been closed for the rest of the semester. California was about to enter an emergency lockdown, as if there were some terrorist threat. Presidents, Chancellors, and Prime Ministers were on TV, throwing about words like “global pandemic” “public health crisis” “social distancing.” I didn’t know what would happen – would I even be able to board my flight? Would police shoot anyone walking on the streets? How long would this thing last? In that terror I walked onto a largely empty plane, masked up and wary of what was to come.

Now I’m back on board United Airlines. The uncertainty that permeated the air five months ago has mostly calloused into a bleak outlook for the next few months, especially in the United States. Millions have lost their jobs, hundreds of thousands have lost their lives, and countless industries are scarred by this nuisance of a virus. Then there’s my comparatively small disappointment: the University of California, Berkeley has canceled in-person classes. There won’t be anyone hurrying from class to class on campus – there won’t even be many students in Berkeley – for all of this semester and possibly through the following Spring.

The Coronavirus is an invisible demon… but I suppose those are the worst types. You can’t see it, but you can see the havoc it reigns upon us: scarred lungs, high temperatures, and a death threat. Somehow one strand of RNA has uprooted the lives of everyhuman on earth – how is that even possible?? I’m not sure I’ll ever get over it.

The world is a bizarre place, in all honesty. Despite online classes I’m still going to Berkeley to study. And I’m going there by flyingin a humongous hunk of metal with wings. When I stop to think about it, it’s miraculous that I’m even breathing thousands of feet off the ground.

In some sense the Coronavirus has made us reckon with our old selves. Our world is bizarre and I ought to count my blessings that I live here, not anywhere else. Think about the creators (spiritual or mechanical, whichever you like) who invented things like flying machines, automated vehicles, and a world-wide web of information… They must’ve been so proud, and imagined how happy people would be after their invention was widely distributed. What would they say to lol cats, COVID trips to Hawaii or Formula One?

Nevertheless the world changes fast. A year ago if I read this very essay, I wouldn’t at all believe it (oh, such an innocent time. Is there some way to go back?). In other ways, I guess the world doesn’t really change at all. Throughout our history there’s always been the “arrogance of man” as well as natural disasters to put us in our place. There’s always been selfish people who make things worse, and good people who try to make things better. I guess this is another one of those situations.

I, and I’m sure many others, wish they had behaved differently before COVID-19… but I mean, this is the situation and it’s all we’ve got. Maybe if I resign myself to this, I’ll be liberated from the thoughts of “what if… what if…” One day I know the world will return to normal, but until then I think I’ll enjoy life as best I can.