This was originally posted on blogger.

If you were a rich person in the 1800s, would you used cotton shirts made by slave laborers? If you were a German in the 1940s, would you used soap made by the bodies of the victims of the Holocaust? If you were alive in the 2000s, would you have eaten the flesh of dead animals.

Agency is how much choice we exert over our lives. The answer to those three questions for most people is maybe not, but probably yes.

Humans are designed to go along with the stream of water that is society. We are social creatures, and are generally agreeable. I think so, at least; we are more similar than we are different. If we had too much heterogeneity, there would be more social activists, perhaps, but also more serial killers, racists, and social pariahs. Like birds flying in the sky, moving with your flock is a helpful instinct. Obedience and conformity to social expectations is what lets the world run day-to-day.

On the other hand, humans also have an innate capacity for courage, creativity, and uniqueness. These are the qualities that create social disruption, change, and innovation.

There’s a balance to be had. Conformity helps build great, stable nations; but too many and we’re on the road to serfdom. Disruption fuels technological progress; but too much and we’re in a land of warlords feuding over power.

Social expectations appear in more mild senses too. For instance, the idea that you should stay till the end of a concert instead of leaving halfway through. Good, or bad? Good to respect the performers. Bad because you may be driving yourself crazy. People may come on different sides of this debate, and it’s probably a case by case situation.

Here are some other pieces of conventional wisdom:

• “Don’t play wrong notes.”
• “Do what I tell you to do.”
• “Make sure you plan ahead.”

These are actually all good pieces of advice, I think. But who’s to say when these rules of thumb get out of hand? Conventional wisdom also told people it’s okay to abuse slaves, slaughter Jews and eat the flesh of animals. For every piece of advice, there’s a counter-adage that might be equally valid.

• “Don’t play wrong notes.” <–> “There are no wrong notes in jazz.”
• “Do what I tell you to do.” <–> ““Be yourself!”
• “Make sure you plan ahead.” <–> “Be in the moment!”

Vegetarians and animal activists know this conflict intimately. How often have you been invited to eat a piece of meat, and feel like you “should” out of courtesy or politeness – but also feel like you “shouldn’t” perpetuate violence against innocent creatures.

It’s up to all of us to decide how much we follow social convention, and how much we exert our own agency. Expressing myself through my choices typically brings me join, and so here are a few ways I like to do it:

• Arranging your living environment to be tidier.
• Choosing to focus on your breath.
• Brushing your teeth, or flossing to satisfaction.
• Installing Linux. I did this recently – It brings me great joy. *So* much better than Windows. It feels like I have a whole new computer. And there’s so much more choice and freedom on my laptop, now, which I had very little of on Windows.
• Wearing clothes you like, or thrifting for nice stuff.
• Creating art or music without thinking of whether it sounds “good”.