Here’s a few concepts I’ve learned lately that I’ve found helpful:

• The joy of Stoicism. I’ve been reading this book about Stoicism. There are a lot of useful concepts. Here are a few:
  • Negative visualization. Most people use their imagination to think about things you don’t have, eg. a house with a yard, a boat, a million dollars. The Stoics believe that you can instead spend this imagination on thinking about how bad life would be if you lost something you do have. For example, imagine if you broke your leg tomorrow, or if your partner died in a car crash, or if you went blind. Wow, that would be awful, right? Then, when you realize that your partner hasn’t died and you can see out of both eyes, you feel extra grateful!
  • Choosing goals in your zone of agency. Most people set goals like, “get a job within 3 months” or “win the tennis tournament”. While you achieving that might be somewhat in your control, there’s some significant chance that it’s entirely out of your control. So really, your goals should be about your attitude towards a certain objective – are you giving it your all?
• Internal Family Systems. Another book I’ve been reading is by Richard Schwartz, who developed the “internal family systems” model of psychotherapy. In it, you imagine that you brain is made up of “parts” that each grew at a certain point in your life. When you’re undecided about something, for example whether to have ice cream, one part of you might be craving the sweet rush of sugar that will make you temporarily happy, and another part might feel guilty because you’re trying to eat more healthy lately. Schwartz encourages us to get to know our parts, to love them and appreciate them for who they are, like you might with a member of your family. After all, our parts formed for a reason – normally at a moment in your life when they were a helpful adaption to your present circumstances. By recognizing our parts like they’re full human beings, and taking a reconciliatory approach, Schwartz says we can “unburden” ourselves from past experiences and live more joyously.
• Moments of fog, and moments of clarity. This one I picked up from a podcast I listened to just this morning. At some points in life, we experience moments of fog. That is, you don’t know what you’ll do after you graduate; you just retired and now have too much time on your hands. Jim Collins talks about “cliff moments”, when your life dramatically changes (often, the loss of something that was integral to your identity) and you have to rediscover what you’d like to do. I also think there can be moments of fog even when you’re very busy. Then, there’s moments of clarity – when you are driven to do something no matter what.
• I was walking with a friend – he said that he has a “high constitution” when it comes to working with people. I thought about that, cause I like the metaphor. Constitution in role-playing games (like Pokemon, or Dungeons and Dragons) is like health points. In a work context, I suppose it means putting up with bullshit. Here’s a few other RPG terms applied to life:
  • Agility. The ability to think fast, adapt quickly, respond to a particular situation.
  • Wisdom. The ability to judge whether you should or shouldn’t be doing something; to take a step back and look at the broader picture.
  • Intellect. The ability to solve a problem, think creatively, approach something from a variety of angles.
  • Charisma. The ability to build rapport with people, understand how they think,
  • Strength. Two interpretations:
    • The ability to grind through something, even when it’s difficult.
    • The courage to do something, stand up for a cause or belief that you know is right.
  • So there you are. I’d rank my stats as: Charisma / Strength > Wisdom > Agility / Intellect > Constitution. I’d most like to improve my Constitution and Strength.